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Asian American & Pacific Islander Sexuality Professionals
Asian Sexuality Professionals
(Updated AANHPI Sexuality Pros list here)
Cue the Cringeworthy Oriental Riff
On January 29th, 2021, a supposed Sex and Relationship Coach named Kim Anami, along with director Shea Raven, released a video entitled “Kung Fu Vagina.” The video utilized Carl Douglas’ song from 1974, “Kung Fu Fighting,” which uses the Oriental Riff, a musical phrase that has been historically used in media to signify when Asian characters, dress, practices, or something related to “Asianness” would appear. It generalized what being Asian meant, and it perpetuates harmful stereotypes. Much like what Kim Anami’s music video did.
Quick Reminder: “Asian” is NOT a monolith. In fact, it comprises of approximately 50 different countries, cultures, and practices. There are absolutely Black and Brown Asians. There is also anti-Blackness within a variety of Asian cultures because of the history of colonization and imperialism that also affected and influenced the largest continent. “Pacific Islander” is NOT a monolith, and there is a different culture and history of colonization. While there may be similarities, and often Asian and Pacific Islander folks face similar discrimination, they are separate cultures.
So as to not repeat the amazing work that others have done, definitely check out the article written by Carina Hsieh for Cosmopolitan, Co-Founder of Lioness Anna Lee’s video response, Just Another Hannah’s video reponse, and BlasianFMA’s video response. They all talk about all the various things that are wrong with this music video and the concepts Kim Anami is trying to sell.
As of February 7th, 2021, the music video has since been remove off YouTube.
I also did a Live React video and shared and published it everywhere I could, including here on my blog. Below is the video, starting at where her video starts.
The general response of folks who know better is disgust and lack of surprise. This is not Kim Anami’s first time at the Racist Rodeo. Not only is her appropriated name an issue, she’s said extremely INCORRECT things about the Black Lives Matter movement and oppression in general. She has had a history of silencing Black, Indigenous, People of Color. AND THEN, she weaponizes sex and shame by claming that anyone who disagrees with her is “underfucked.”
So much for love and light and positivity.
Support Asian American & Pacific Islander Sexuality Professionals
Instead of following and supporting supposed Sex and Relationship Coaches who are not-so-secretly white supremacists, here’s a list of amazing Sexuality Professionals of Asian and Pacific Islander Heritage and Decent and where you can find them. Hire these folks and other Black, Indigenous, Latinx Sexuality Professionals.
Sonalee Rashatwar
IG: @thefatsextherapist
Website: www.sonaleer.com/
Sukriti Dabral
IG: @askingwhatsmeaningful
Website: sukritidabralsexed.wordpress.com/
Dr. Jessica O’Reilly
IG and Twitter: @sexwithdrjess
Facebook: www.facebook.com/sexwithdrjess
Website: www.sexwithdrjess.com/
Lotus Lain
IG and Twitter: @itslotuslain
Jo Portia
IG and Twitter: @iamjoportia
Facebook: www.facebook.com/gofitjo
Website: www.iamjoportia.com/
Caitlin
(Hapa femme in undergrad creating a space for pleasure and growth)
IG: @thes3xtalk
Nawaaz Makhani
IG: @rumi2explore
Mystique Coach
IG: @mystiquecoach
Jayda Shuavarnnasri
IG: @jayda_kissed
Twitter: @JaydaKissed
Website: www.jaydakissed.com/
Ivy Kwong, LMFT
IG and Twitter: @bareivy
Website: www.bareivy.com
Dr. Sakshi Tickoo
IG: @sex.love.andot
Twitter: @sexloveandot
Facebook: www.facebook.com/SexLoveAndOT/
Website: www.sexloveandot.com/
Sandra Phanita
IG: @sandra_phanita
Twitter: @praxisofphanita
Get Gilly by Erin Chen
IG and Twitter: @getgillycom
Website: www.getgilly.com
May Vutrapongvatana
IG and Twitter: @mayvutrapongvatana
Sex Ed with Tim
IG and Twitter: @sexedwithtim
Carina Hsieh
IG and Twitter: @carinahsieh
Dr. Catalina Lawsin
IG: @drcatalina_
Website: www.drcatalina.org
Jiz Lee
IG and Twiter: @jizlee
Website: www.jizlee.com
Sage
IG: @callme.sage
Facebook: www.facebook.com/authenticallysage
Website: www.authenticallysage.com
Rae Threat
IG and Twitter: @raethreat
Facebook: www.facebook.com/raethreat
Website: threat.tv/
Kenneth Play
IG: @Kennethplay
Twitter: @Kennethplay
Facebook: www.facebook.com/kennethplaypage/
Website: Kennethplay.com
Queen Layla
Twitter: @IAmQueenLayla
Website: www.4lsolutions.com/
Bianca Dowon Lee
IG: @bleedinginerotica
Twitter: @biancadowon
Website: www.bleedinginerotica.com
Maria Two-Traps (she/her)
IG: @_sexandsquats
Website: www.sexandsquats.org
Joey Estella, LMFT
Website: LAtherapy.weebly.com
Midori
IG and Twitter: @planetmidori"
Facebook: www.facebook.com/planetmidori
Patreon: www.patreon.com/planetmidori
Website: www.fortefemme.com
Jet Setting Jasmine
IG and Twitter: @jetsetjasmine
Facebook: www.facebook.com/jetsettingjasmine
Website: www.jsjlinks.com/
Sex Nerd Sandra
IG and Twitter: @sexnerdsandra
Patreon: www.patreon.com/sexnerdsandra
Mia Little
IG: @alittleedutainment
Harmony Lee
IG: @yourgaydanceteacher
Website: www.yourgaydanceteacher.com
Justine Fonte
IG and Twitter: @imjustineaf
Website: www.justinefonte.com/
Good Byes - Your Friendly Ghostwriter by Justine Fonte
IG: @_good.byes_
Sydney Rae Chin
IG: @sexysoupdumplings
Website: msha.ke/sexysoupdumplings/
Michelle Hy of Polyamorous While Asian
IG and Twitter: @polyamorouswhileasian
Facebook: www.facebook.com/polyamwhileasian
Website: polyamorouswhileasian.com/
Anna Lee from Lioness
IG: @annaisaverage
Twitter: @hisohee
Lioness Website: lioness.io/
Ti Chang from Crave
IG and Twitter: @designerti
Crave Website: lovecrave.com
Ann Nguyen
IG and Twitter: @theannnguyen
Website: www.theannnguyen.com
Dr. Varuna Srinivasan
IG and Twitter: @drarunasrinivasan
Website: www.varunasrinivasan.com/
Kei Karayan of Kasama Culture
IG: @kasamaculture
Rae Chen
IG and Twitter: @thenotice
Website: thenotice.net/
Share Your Nuance
IG and Twitter: @shareyournuance
Website medium.com/shareyournuance
Roots of Health
IG and Twitter: @rootsofhealth
Website: www.rootsofhealth.org
Rekha Raagopal
IG: @sexedwithrekha
Website: www.raisingsexpositivekids.com
Goddess Cecilia
IG and Twitter: @goddesscecilia
Facebook: www.facebook.com/goddesscecilia1276
Website: www.goddesscecilia.com
Leonore Tjia
IG: @dreamofthehuntress
Website: www.rewildingtheheart.com
Natalie Rose / ShesANatural
IG: @NatalieRose_fet
Twitter: @ShesANaturall
Facebook: www.facebook.com/NatalieRoseRope
N’Jaila Rhee
IG and Twitter: @BlasianBytch
Website: blasianbytch.com
BANG!: Masturbation for People of All Genders and Abilities - Edited by Vic Liu
IG: @bangforall
Purchase the Book: www.microcosmpublishing.com/catalog/books/11520
Frances G
IG: @themodernlifecoach [Personal IG] @_liberatingme [Podcast IG]
Facebook: www.facebook.com/modernlifecoach
Asians for Sex Positivity
IG: asiansforsexpositivity
This is by no means a complete list.
It’s so easy for all of us to get caught up in our own little part of the Sexuality Field and Industry. I know this isn’t at all a complete list. I’m certain I’m missing folks. I also started with highlighting specifically Asian Sexuality Professionals, but I think it’s important to expand the list to include Pacific Islander Sexuality Professionals. The original image I created is to the right.
Do you know somebody or are YOU an AAPI Sexuality Professional, Worker, Counselor, Therapist, Educator, Coach, Film Actor or Producer, Content Creator? Fill out the form below to be added to this ever-growing list:
Asian Sexuality Professionals Listing Request
If you would like to throw some support to Goddess Cecilia who has compiled and organized this listing, here’s how:
Throw some funds her way:
Venmo @GoddessCecilia
CashApp $GoddessCecilia
PayPal goddesscecilia at gmail dot com
Become a Patron on Patreon:
www.patreon.com/goddesscecilia
To Yoni Steam or Not To Yoni Steam
Sharing my personal experience with a yoni steam. For science.
What the heck is a Yoni Steam?
A yoni steam, a vaginal steam, a hip bath - they all describe a treatment that is meant to help with any issues that involve the vulva, vagina, ovaries, and related organs. It's a health practice in a variety of different cultures and countries, including South Africa, Thailand, Korea, and other Indigenous cultures. Though there isn't any scientific evidence of all the health benefits, many women and people with vulvas believe that it can aid in healing after childbirth, regulating menstruation and relieving menstrual pain, and treating yeast infections.
Then white women learned all about it, and it became a trendy part of a spa experience (Thanks Goop).
It became synonymous with getting a "clean" vagina, which is not how it's spoken about in the cultures that regularly practice yoni steaming. Just a quick reminder: Vaginas don't need cleaning. Part of the job of the vagina is to help remove bacteria from the body to protect the uterus, which is why there is vaginal discharge. Vaginal steaming does not "clean" a vagina.
Okay, but, like, would you try it?
I have to be honest, when I first learned about it through the lens of white women, I was angry about the hype over it. How could there be yet another procedure created to make people with vulvas feel awful about themselves? You might as well add some labiaplasty to your day!
When I learned that it was (of course) appropriated and more about the history of it, I softened up a bit. If non-Western cultures have practiced yoni steaming for thousands of years, then who am I to tell them it doesn't help in some way?
Look, I'm a huge fan of science. But I'm also a bit "Woo Light." I value evidence-based, comprehensive information, and I like to dabble in crystals and candles every new and full moon.
So, when I was with some fellow sex ed friends at a Korean Spa, feeling all relaxed and nurtured, and there was a sign for "hip baths," I had to give it a try. For science.
What did you have to do? What was it like?
Let's start with the fact that there are specific chairs being made out there just for yoni steaming. As no photography was allowed in nude areas, I sadly don’t have a picture of the stool.
Just go ahead and Google Image search "yoni steaming stools." Go for it. I'll wait...
*goes to pour a glass of wine*
*sips*
Oh, hey! You back?
Aren't you happy you did that Google search? It's amazing, isn't it? These adorable stools with little openings, made just for yoni steaming!
A little hot plate with a pot with water and herbs like rosemary, lavender, and mugwort fits right underneath. There are plenty of recipes online. I wouldn't suggest that you go and try to do this on your own unless you have an extensive knowledge of what the different herbs are for and how your body will interact with them.
Alright, so, not only are you sitting on this adorable stool, but you're also given a giant mu-mu-like covering. The elastic part stays around your neck, and the rest of it creates a tent around you, the stool, and the pot of herbs. The one I tried didn't have any sleeves or arm openings. It made for really awkward tea drinking, since the woman running the hip bath station gave us little cups of tea to enjoy while we steamed.
For the first 10 minutes or so while the pot is heating up to a boil, I didn't really feel much. It was certainly warm enough under the covering. I became really aware of the air between my vulva and pot beneath me. At around the 10-12 minute mark, all of a sudden, it becomes unreasonably hot. I was then VERY aware of the heat.
At some point, the woman turned the heat down on my hot plate so that the boil became more of a simmer. It was still quite warm, especially with the covering trapping most of the heat inside there. I could feel my whole body sweating. It was like my own personal sauna - except I was sharing the experience with other hip bathers in their own personal saunas.
Part of that sauna feeling was concentrated on my vulva. I was sweating around my vulva and mons so much, it almost felt like maybe I was accidentally urinating. I imagined that the sweat and the steam were mixing and dripping, which accounted for the urinating feeling.
Was my vagina absorbing all the nutrients from the herbs? Vaginas don't just randomly absorb things like that, especially since it's constantly trying to discharge any toxins. Also, it's not really about absorbing as it is about maintaining homeostasis. I assume that the vaginal walls are trying to compensate for all the heat and moisture from the herbal steam, thus discharging excess water and other toxins.
After about 30 minutes, the session is over. We got up, removed our mu-mus and placed them in a hamper. Then, we were happily on our way to enjoy the rest of our day at the spa.
So, what did you think? Would you do it again?
My friend reported that she felt much more refreshed afterwards. I personally didn't feel anything different per se. I don't do saunas very often, but I feel like it's the same "detoxed" feeling but just around my vulva.
In the following days, I noticed that my natural smell around my vulva area was a little different, more floral and herbal in a way. It wasn’t “bad.” Just…different.
I would totally do it again, though my personal body doesn’t need it as a regular practice. But I also don’t really need saunas that often either.
As you would expect, I would rather float around in a pool or get a massage as my version of self-care.
Final thoughts?
If reading this personal account makes you go, Naw, I’m good, then there you go. Yoni steams are in no way a requirement for people with vulvas.
If a yoni steam is something that interests you, and you have access to a place that offers this service, I say go for it! Only you can know whether or not it’s something that you would both enjoy and feel is useful for your body. I encourage you to do more research into what’s available for you, what happens at the specific location that offers it, and what different people (of color) think about this practice.
As with anything sexual health related, as long as it doesn’t harm another person and it’s consensual, You do you, babes!
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