Let 2017 forever be remembered as the year we all tried to find the "perfect" nude lip color based on our nipple color and inner labia color!
Yes, you read that right.
It's generally been difficult for me to figure out what "nude" really means. Often, I've ended up with lip colors that are too pink (and I'm not trying to go for that baby doll look) or too orange (just not my scene) or even too brown (which was probably more my style in the '90's). So, how could I pass up this opportunity to have some fun with make up and sex?
In May, The Doctors proposed that the best nude lip color was based on the color of your nipples. First of all, let me just say that I am not a fan of The Doctors. They're certainly full of gimmicks and sometimes present questionable information. For the sake of nipples, however, I'm willing to play along.
It makes quite a bit of sense, really. It's already a color that's a part of your body, so why not? But I personally have slightly darker nipples than my areola, and none of the articles seemed to mention that there might be a difference. In fact, often "nipple" and "areola" seemed to be interchangeable in these articles.
Just a quickie reminder, the nipple is the part of the body that might secrete bodily fluids such as breast milk, and the areola is the pigmented part of the skin around the nipple. While I'm not actually surprised that they neglected this detail, I do find it interesting as people often will also interchange "vulva" and "vagina." But we'll get to that part of the body later.
After finally deciding that I preferred the color of my nipple to my areola, I realized that I have always gravitated towards colors that were similar to my nipple color. I've always liked lip colors that were mauve-y, feeling that it highlighted my skin tone without washing me out.
Sorry, but I won't be posting images of my nipples here! (But if you want to Venmo or CashMe $50 to GoddessCecilia.......)
I was feeling satisfied that I had already had enough nipple-colored lipstick, so I wasn't going to pursue this further. Perhaps next time I wander into Ulta or Sephora, then maybe I'll consider chatting with the consultants about my nipple color.
Then, as the heat and humidity of July began, Refinery29 (a publication I trust more than The Doctors) decided to one-up the game. Their article featured several of their staff trying on colors that matched their inner labia! Now, you know I had to get in on this! But first I needed to figure out what color my inner labia was.
You definitely WON'T be getting images of my labia - neither the inner nor the outer! So, #sorrynotsorry.
Let me tell you, though, the hardest part was finding out how to get the best lighting so that I could get a clear picture of my vulva. I had the perfect opportunity for my own private photoshoot in the morning after the gym and a shower.
Taking a picture in the tub proved awkward, and I couldn't keep my hand steady to get a clear shot. So I moved to the bedroom and found a patch of light that shined directly onto my bed. I was able to rest my arm on my knee to steady my hand, so I was able to get a great picture of my vulva.
There is nothing like looking at a picture of your own vulva. I'm not usually one to take pictures of my intimate body parts. I've looked at it in a mirror before, but to see it separate from my own body made me love and revere it even more.
My inner labia is still a mauve color, but with a bit more pink to it. But, this was at an unaroused state. The labia (not just mine...but other vulva owners as well!) will often change color and darken when aroused as the tissue engorges with blood and other fluids. No one seemed to address this difference in the article either.
Of course, now I'm hoping to remember the next time my husband and I are fooling around to ask him to take a picture of my aroused vulva.
Regardless, I was ready to go! I made plans to go to Sephora after a work meeting to use the Color IQ to try to find my perfect nude lip color.
As I put my car in park and turned off the engine, I suddenly realized that I couldn't just go into the mall and present a picture of my nipples or my labia to ask one of the consultants to help me! That's a sure-fire way to get arrested! This is not a cause I'm willing to get arrested for.
So, I tried to zoom in on the images and screen shot them. But I still didn't feel right about showing these unsuspecting staff a pixelated version of my nipples and labia. I decided to study the colors and find the perfect way to describe them.
I realized several things in this moment. My (face) lips mimic the coloring of both my areola (upper lip) and my labia (bottom lip). It's also quite possible that my aroused labia would be closer in color to my nipple. So I decided to describe my labia as "mauve with a dusty rose."
Into the mall I went! At first, I stopped at the Color IQ station, but soon found myself just looking at products that I was already familiar and comfortable with. What would be the point of stressing over pictures of my labia if I'm just going to buy the same thing?
I knew I had to speak with someone.
The first person I spoke with knew all about using the nipple color to find a nude lip color, but she did not hear about using the labia color. In all honesty, I almost didn't know how to explain it to her! I stumbled on my words and had a couple of false starts before I was able to explain myself. She was awesome about it, though, and connected me with one of the Make Up Specialists to help me in my quest for Labia Lip Color. Now that I had a bit of practice, I once again explained my experiment to find the "perfect nude lip color" based on the color of my nipples and labia. Without skipping a beat, she proceeded to show me several different shades from different brands, and offered to help me test them out.
This experience was better than I could have ever imagined! Apparently, the consultants were all talking about using the nipple color for the "perfect nude" a while back, so it was like they were primed to have me walk into the store. Shout out to Amanda for being super helpful and literally the perfect person to help me!
So, now I need your help! I tried on 5 different colors, but one was too "baby doll" pink for my taste. I need your help in deciding which of the 4 colors to purchase! I am not labeling them with the brand or color name because that might sway you to choose based on your knowledge or preference of the brand.
My plan is to go back Saturday afternoon to buy the one that gets the most votes! Comment below or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with your favorite shade and why?
Which will you choose?